Parenting is a balancing act
Parenting has to be one of the hardest, toughest jobs in the world, I think most parents would agree. From the moment your first child is conceived (not even born yet) you are filled with worry, fear, guilt, happiness, love. You have been given the most precious gift possible….a child to nurture, protect, love, care for, teach and guide. How do we give the best to our children?
Parenting is a balancing act, we have to balance how much we say yes and how much we say no. We balance our time between each child, our partner, work and ourselves. We balance the housework, playtime, free-time and activities. We have to balance guiding children with providing them with the freedom to learn and explore. The list is endless.
There are times when I struggle with this parenting balance. Sometimes my partner may miss out, or I find myself saying no more than yes. This is one I have been struggling with lately, constantly saying no, when I really need to stop and think, could it actually be yes? Sometimes it is good to stop stressing over the little things and go with the flow, does it really matter if the children have an extra five minutes at bedtime? Could I say yes to reading that extra story and cherish the time together, even though it means less time with something/someone else?
Balancing time between your partner and your children, giving time and investment into your relationship can be hard, you are tired, you’ve been talking child talk all day, how do you find the right balance? So often this can go wrong and does, because it takes effort and work on both sides. Date nights are a great way to nurture a relationship, which I pledge to do more of.
Balancing the housework and chores with playtime can be difficult. I feel guilty for doing housework and not playing with the children, but I also feel guilty for the chores not being done because I’ve been playing. As much as I want to say housework doesn’t matter, somethings do still have to be done as a fact of life, yes, we can live with mess, but not serious dirt, bathrooms do have to be cleaned at some point.
When I have finally organised my time suitably, I then worry. I think worry comes with the parenting territory, I worry about my children’s health, the lump I found in their neck, I worry are they happy, do they have friends and basically am I doing the best I can for my children? I worry am I protecting them, but also am I allowing them enough freedom to be themselves and learn? It is so hard not to worry and it will never go away, we as parents just learn to deal with it, balance it and work through each little hiccup like it’s an adventure.
Life is an adventure and parenting is one of the biggest adventures. There are no easy answers to these dilemmas, we all deal with things differently, there is no right or wrong, what works for one may not work for another, everyone’s balance will be different. I am taking a close look at mine, how do you balance everything as a parent?
My word of the week is ‘balance’.
Not yet being a parent. I do look at parents and wonder how on earth somedays they manage it.
I think one can only try their hardest and act in love, I know now I understand why my parents said no when they did etc. I look back and see they acted out of love & they just tried their best always.
Have a good weekend.
Sx
Yes, all we can do is try our best and make sure everyone know they are loved.
Well, this morning my answer would be ‘badly”-my son cried all the way to school because I wouldn’t let him take his Buzz Lightyear in to nursery and because I was distracted, I didn’t notice my daughter walk out into the road when a car was coming. Luckily it wasn’t going very fast. Honestly, I think my answer would change every day, and probably even within each day too! I think you do a very good job by the sounds of it, all we can do is our best
Oh no, it sounds like you’ve had a bad morning. You are right all we can do is our best and things change from minute to minute. I hope your daughter is ok (my daughter has done that too, feels awful)! x
Totally agree – it is a real balancing act. I am constantly weighing things up. I do try to say no only when It is necessary as it tends to be more effective that way.
You’re right no is more effective when its used in moderation, I need to focus more on yes
You are spot on! there is so much to balance out as a Parent, but we can only do our best, aslong as everybody is content and feeling loved then the rest falls into place :). x
#WotW
Definitely, we do our best and hopefully everything else follows
So true! I am still workingon my houselife – being a mother and work balance. Do we ever achieve it? Not sure…x #PoCoLo
Not sure we do ever achieve a stable balance, it’s changing all the time
Great post, Karen, all so true. And as I’m having one of those days where I would really rather have another 8 hours and another set of arms, I can tell you at the moment, I am failing miserably! But then ask me again next week, and may be I’ll have a handle on it…until a few days later..! Thanks for sharing with #WotW x
It is up and down all the time isn’t it? Maybe it’s more like a seesaw than balance?
Parenting is definitely a balancing act and one that can be difficult to get right at times I think! I have days when it seems to work and other days I feel like I can’t quite get it right. I think we all try our best though and I’m learning not to beat myself up over the bad days.
There are definitely good days and bad days, it’s good not to beat yourself up over the bad though x
You got it so right! It’s also a balancing act between putting them (the kids) before you very own happiness/personal growth. Sometimes we forget as mothers, that we too matter, even if we stay-at-home, perhaps, it’s even more important to remember if you’re a stay at home mother like me. I have to remind myself all the time, that what I want, what makes me happy is also important. We tend to always put our family’s happiness first, at least I do. #wotw.
It is important to remember ourselves, can actually be easy to forget or at least put yourself bottom of the list
Oh gosh i totally agree parenting is indeed a balancing act and trying to find a balance isn’t always easy!What worked yesterday won’t always work today or the next day, so its pretty much a case of juggling things to the best of your capability. Wishing you the best of luck. Xx
I am still trying to find the balance in it. Sometimes I think I got it right having a happy kid and I have time to do things that i need and want and then suddenly something would make things not right! In a blink of an eye everything changes. So I am right about now is stil trying to find that balance and wishing that I will eventually have it. #wotw
So very true….
I seem to get everything balanced and something comes along and tips it….It’s hard being a parent but so enjoyable and rewarding at the same time x
Yes, yes, yes and yes! Totally agree with all this. I do get so frustrated when people say to ‘leave the mess’ and ‘play with the kids’, as you say at some point dishes have to be washed and laundry put on! It’s all a hard balancing act. #wotw
I really agree with you, it is so hard to balance everything all the time, currently 8 months pregnant I am spending a little too much time leaving my toddler to play independently as it is difficult to get down with her, I feel guilty that I am not playing with her so much but i am so tired and uncomfortable, it won’t get much better for a while as i’ll be breastfeeding too. She wants to watch tv a lot at the moment and i end up saying yes so I can sit and rest with her. hmmmm
So true – even just with one child I find the balancing act hard to manage. He would after all easily consume all of my time if there was nothing else I had to do, so life has become just one long series of compromises! It’s worth it though
You’re so right! It’s a balancing act every day isn’t it and I agree with you about the worry and guilt too – I’m learning a lot of lessons from Handsfreemama.com this year about limiting screen time as part of that balance and I’m a lot happier for it. Thank you for linking up at #sharethejoy – hope to see you again next week x
I m can totally relate to this Karen. I have 3 kids and I definitely feel the pressure to balance my time between each of them which can often be tricky but all i can do is try my best and generally things work out ok by the end of each week. As for my hubby he does tend to suffer on occasion but he understands the kids are all still small and our time will come again. We have a date night planned tonight though which we are very much looking forward too!
I totally and utterly agree with you. I always say that parenting is the hardest but bestest job in the world! I tend to find that just I get the balance right something comes along to throw it off slightly – but is just a case of picking up the plates and starting again. Thank you for linking to #PoCoLo
It is so true, I find things very difficult to balance, and I just hope it gets easier as Boo get older!!
I don’t know how people with more than one child cope!
This is spot on! It definitely is a balancing act and it is no easier the more children you have. I have no idea how I balance it, it changes from day to day
x
Great blog post Karen, you’ve summed family life up really well. I work part-time (school hours), volunteer (school readers and governor) and hopefully I’m a great mummy too, (reading, homework, playing, cooking) – it’s all such a juggling act! Organisation is definitely the key for me. Well done.
I’m not yet a parent but I experience the same issues as a nanny. It’s a constant balancing act between managing the kids needs, the parents needs, and my needs. And yep, the worry is the worst!